The rain…

The rain poured down,

It soaks everything it touched,

Including the soul,

Rain dampens the soul.

But when you are in side,

The soul dries up.

It is no longer damp.

Have a great day! 😀

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The true meaning…

The earth spins,

For without this, we couldn’t continue.

Evolution is progressive,

Thus we evolve.

But the great philosophers believe

We start with nothing, we leave with nothing.

The very opposite of evolution.

So what is our true meaning on this earth,

which was given to us millions of years ago?

Alas, I don’t know.

Have a great day! 😀

Johnathan Trotter is back in London

Part one

Part two

Part three

We re-join our hero on the floor, after a heavy night of going home.

Johnathan awoke in the doorway of his one bedroom Upminster apartment. He was so tired last night that he never made it to the bed and just fell to the floor. His entire body ached as he pulled himself to his feet, but he was glad to see familiar surroundings.

His apartment was small and not that clean. It would be a nice little place if he cleaned it more often, but Johnathan didn’t really see the point because he was hardly there.

“I can’t remember a thing”, he said to himself whilst rubbing his eyes. Johnathan wasn’t hungover, he had just come home from Luton and slept on the floor. “Of course, I remember now”, he remembered whilst he was cleaning his teeth. Johnathan also remembers how he spoke to that woman on the train. He felt especially bad now, she didn’t nearly deserve that, even if she did play quidditch. She did ask how he was, although the train was empty and she could have sat anywhere, which would be annoying for anyone. He vowed he would say sorry to her should they meet again. “I don’t think I’ll be seeing her again though”, Johnathan said to himself. This sealed his fate, they were now destined to cross paths again at some point.

Johnathan got ready and left his apartment. He walked out into pitch darkness. He was confused by this, why was it so dark? He checked his watch, it was 4:36 AM. Johnathan had been asleep for about five hours, and didn’t think to check his watch when he got up. “Dang, not again”, said Johnathan. This seemed to happen a lot because Johnathan sometimes forgets to wear a watch, and often forgets that he can actually tell the time.  Johnathan took himself back to bed for a few hours.

Finally ready to face the day, (or the day was ready for him), Johnathan left his apartment at about 12 PM. This was a big day, but he wasn’t quite sure what was to happen just yet. His first order of business was to jump on the District Line to Becontree to visit his old friend, Mouldy Geoff.

He got on the train. Johnathan didn’t mind living in Upminster, but he felt it was too far away from the rest of London sometimes, as it was right at the eastern end of the District Line. In other ways he also appreciated this greatly.

It didn’t take long to get to Becontree. Johnathan didn’t like it much there, he felt it was one of the pointless tube stops that slow the line down. He crossed the road and headed left until he came across a large park with a name that he can’t quite recall. He wandered in search of Mouldy Geoff.

Johnathan had been searching for around five minutes before he finally found the man that he was looking for, sleeping on a bench. “Alright, Geoff? Are you awake there”? Mouldy Geoff stirred slowly. “Who’s that now?”, asked the half awake man. “It’s Johnathan”, replied Johnathan, “I’ve got something to ask”.

Mouldy Geoff had known Johnathan all his life. Geoff used to work with his dad, when Johnathan’s father was in Ireland right before they both moved to London. “Johnathan Trotter, ye’ old bastard, how the hell are you?”, inquired Geoff who was delighted to see him. “I’m not too shabby thanks Geoff. Yesterday I want to Piccadilly Circus and then Luton and I shouted at someone on the train because they said they play quidditch”, said Johnathan. “Quidditch? Feckin’ bollix I tell ye’. I don’t know where it all went wrong in the world”, said Geoff with a sigh. “I know”, said Johnathan, “probably shouldn’t have shouted at her though”, added Johnathan. “Probably not son, but you’ll never see her again, so who gives a shite?”, said Geoff, who may or may not be drunk at 12:30 in the afternoon. “Yeah, you’re probably right”, Johnathan agreed. This had just definitely confirmed that they were likely to meet again later that day, probably on a train.

The two of them chatted for a while about general things, before finally getting to the point. “What is it that you wanted to ask me son?”, asked Geoff. “I need to see my dad, but I’m not sure how to go about it. I’ve got a feeling that he is sensing something most awful and must try and find out what”, replied Johnathan with some concern. “Ahhhh, your father”, said Mouldy Geoff. “You’re father can always be found in hell. Just say the worst possible words that you can tink off and put your head in the oven for twenty seconds”, said Geoff with a smile. Geoff stood up from the bench where they were sitting. “It was nice talking wit’ ye’ Johnathan. Now excuse me, I must get home before they realise that I’m out again. See you later, and if you see ye’ old man, tell him he’s a wanker”! Geoff got up and started running away. “Thank you Geoff, I will do, goodbye”, shouted Johnathan as Mouldy Geoff ran down the path, waving behind him as he went.

This was a successful social interaction for Johnathan, even if it was with an old friend. He had always been fond of Geoff, but wished he would just clean more often so people would take him seriously. “Geoff is very knowledgable, it’s a shame he’s such a mouldy old bastard”, said Johnathan to himself as he watched him run off into the distance.

Johnathan now knew why today was going to be big, and he also knew what he had to do next. He headed home to put his head in the oven.

Have a great day! 😀

I’ve got a new book!

Isn’t that marvellous?

Have a great day! 😀

Johnathan Trotter is on the train

Part one: Johnathan Trotter went to Piccadilly Circus

Part two: Johnathan Trotter is in Luton

Johnathan was very relieved to be getting out of Luton. It wasn’t a place he held much admiration for. He was thinking, “was it really that bad”? “No”, he said to himself. Johnathan is a very cross-awkward individual.

A ticket inspector began passing through the carriage. Johnathan was instantly nervous, he hated ticket inspectors. He believed that they were right at the bottom of society, along with Nazi’s and traffic wardens. “I haven’t got a dang ticket”, he whispered to himself in a very panicked fashion as the inspector edged ever closer. “Ticket sir?”, asked the inspector. “Ahh yes, here you are”, Johnathan remembered he had a ticket. The inspector stamped it. “Thank you sir”, the inspector gave him back the ticket. “That was a close one!”, said Johnathan. The fact is Johnathan always buys a ticket, and didn’t have a thing to worry about.

The train was quiet and not very clean. Johnathan didn’t mind this though. If there was nobody on the train then nobody would try and talk to him. The cleanliness didn’t bother him all too much either. His apartment isn’t very clean, so it reminded him of home a little bit.

The journey was fairly uneventful. The train’s final stop was Brighton on the south coast, but it originated from Bedford. “This train must take ages”, said Johnathan. There wasn’t much to do but think.

Johnathan was about to engage his brain in a thought about onions and how much he disliked the BBC News at Ten, which he had been very much looking forward to, when a woman boarded the train at Hendon and sat opposite him. Johnathan was annoyed that even though the train was completely empty, she still came and sat opposite him. However, he was more annoyed that she was about to interrupt his latest thought process. “I was looking forward to that!”, he exclaimed rather loudly. “Are you okay?”, asked the woman in a concerned fashion. Johnathan realised what he just did was embarrassing and not socially acceptable. “Yeah, sorry, I’m not too shabby, thank you. I was just on the wireless telephonic communications device”, he lied. The woman still seemed concerned as this was a completely absurd answer to a perfectly rational question about his incredibly abnormal behaviour. He wouldn’t realise this for about another five minutes though. She decided to shrug it off, “that’s good”, she said as she gave him a small friendly smile.

Johnathan now began to feel bad. His initial feelings to distain towards her had now worn off, and he felt awful for thinking that. It’s times like this when Johnathan remembers that not all people are terrible, only most of them are. “How are you?”, he enquired in a rare attempt at conversation. “I’m very well thank you”, she replied, “I’ve just been to play quidditch with some pals from uni”. Johnathan feelings towards her completely changed, she was terrible. “Quidditch?”, he said in an exasperated tone. “How is that even possible? Flying brushes aren’t a thing”. The woman confidently replied, “well obviously we don’t fly, but we hold the broom between our legs and run like three headed dogs, of you know what I mean”! Johnathan knew what she meant, and he didn’t appreciate it. “Well thats a pointless then isn’t it?”, he snapped. “It’s physically impossible to fly around so why bother with holding the brushes”? He didn’t call them brooms for some reason. “Well I believe that physics is a man made concept designed to limit us. And FYI, it wouldn’t be authentic without the BROOMsticks”, she said assertively back to him. Johnathan looked into her eyes for a moment, took a deep breath stood up, and yelled, “physics are science, you stupid human! How can it be man made? You went to university as well! How!? And quidditch isn’t real, what is wrong with you”? Johnathan shouted so loudly and so hard that he gave himself a headache. Before she had a chance to reply he got off the train at Cricklewood, and watched her disappear into the night as the train pulled away.

Johnathan felt like he had won that battle. Although Cricklewooed was about five stops early, and he had to board the next train which wasn’t due for half an hour.

Whilst pacing the platform, let out a loud, “dang it, I did it again”, he just remembered his earlier embarrassing comment about the telephonic communications device. He was too annoyed about the fact people actually play quidditch to care though.

He boarded the next train. It was empty, and stayed that way for the duration of the journey, fortunately enough. Johnathan got off at Blackfriars, and got onto the eastbound District Line train to Upminster, where he lived.

The Tube journey took 51 minutes, which was just slightly longer than the train from Luton to London, although he extend this journey by half an hour by getting off at Cricklewood. He was too annoyed to notice anyone on the way back. As soon as he got back to his apartment he instantly fell asleep. On the floor, not the bed. It was very instant, but at least he was back.

Have a great day! 😀

Slow news day…

Nothing’s new, nothing’s changed

They are exactly as we left it

Anything could happen at any moment

Life can change instantly

But will it?

Probably not tonight

I hope not anyway!

Routine is consistent

I like that actually

But imagine if something exciting did happen

When you least expect it

Wouldn’t that be… exciting?

Have a great day! 😀

Materialism in the 21st century

In 2012 the iPhone 5 was released. Do you remember how much you wanted that phone? Do you remember how there was never anything like it before. Do you remember?

Early shipments of that phone had faulty batteries. Every single one of them. Was it an accident, or was it intentional? Probably intentional, but I can’t prove that, so don’t take my word for it.

That phone is obsolete and very un-useable now. It has a 2 hour or less battery life, so you’re probably not using that phone anymore. Where is it, do you remember? You’re current phone is probably much better, obviously.

You may not remember, or even care. There is nothing wrong with that. I remember though. In fact I composed this entire thing on an iPhone 5s. What does that make me?

Have a great day! 😀